These boots were made for walking, but my legs were not.

There's this little thing that people have been doing for centuries that I just can't master. I try and I try and still I show little to no improvement. Most of the time I can pull it off and fool people into thinking I know what I'm doing. Most of the time however, I don't. And every once in a while in an extraordinary display I show the world just how bad I really am at it. I've been doing it since I was little, you'd think 19 years of experience or whatever would have made me better. This isn't the case. I provide great comedy and worry for those around me, first instinct is laughter, then worry, then laughter again, once they know that I did not harm myself.

What is this great feat that I cannot achieve? This insurmountable task? This skill that I am unable to master?: Walking. So simple, and necessary, so long practiced. Whoever said practice makes perfect was a HUGE liar. Just last weekend we were downtown walking around, and I just fell. All the way down. No reason. There were many witnesses, but I picked myself up acknowledged how ridiculous it was, told everyone I was alright, and almost peed myself laughing. And don't even get me started on the number of times I've almost killed myself on stairs. Those things should be outlawed. Especially on snowy/icy days. Ridiculous.

If you're good at walking, you really should congratulate yourself and then take pity on those of us who have not mastered that evolutionary step yet. Maybe I should still walk on my knuckles, at least I'd give myself more balance that way, and I'd be lower to the floor, so the falls won't be a brutal. Maybe I'm just too top heavy. I just naturally fall forward. Yea, I'll blame it on that...