Crocodile Dock.

This week I worked at VBS. Also known as Vacation Bible School. I guess it's called that because it's supposed to be like a vacation for the kiddos. Let me tell you, it's like crack for them. They are addicted. I was in two classrooms with kindergartners. Some of them went to the day school at church, but most were from other churches. This is where they're cracked out. For many of them this is there second straight week of VBS this summer. Not only that, the second straight week of the SAME EXACT VBS. They know all the songs, all the stories, all the dance moves. Which is super obnoxious because of course, we don't do everything exactly the way their church does so they tell us how to do everything all day. I don't blame their parents though, free child care for half the day.

Though, I wonder if they actually have any idea what their kids are learning about. I know many people are not fans of VBS and I guess I may understand why now. Our theme was crocodile dock. I still am not sure how that tied into things, but I'll chalk that up to missing the last day. We learned about the plagues of Egypt, that's pretty down and heavy for a 5 year old. Not to mention we talked about which of us was the first born, and if you were, oh, God would have killed you! Shucks. Oh and you know that Jesus guy? Did you know how he was crucified? Well, they took wood nails that were thiiiiiiiissssss long and hammered them into his hands. Can you push on your hand and feel how sensitive that was? Imagine a nail being shoved though there. Now, once he was on the cross, the weight of his body would begin to cause the nails to rip through his hands. And then they stabbed him in the side, and put a crown of thorns on his head, as a mean and painful joke. When he was thirsty they put vinegar on a rag and not only does it taste bitter but, it causes much pain in wounds.

So that was intense. Also my kids were super ADD. They would constantly raise their hands and say things like "My mom is picking me up later," or "I won't be here tomorrow because my mom and I are going on a 40 day and 40 night vacation just like Jesus did" Oh, alright, he was only gone for a day. I didn't feel like telling him that Jesus wasn't really on vaca at that point. I had a little girl mess up a drawing and exclaim "Oh PENIS, penis penis" I was laughing so hard I couldn't even tell her to hush. They sang Boom Boom Pow to me. I had two kindergartners who were dating, but, it's ok because "mommy said I can have a boyfriend if we don't kiss!" They were pretty darn cute. The only things I had trouble with was the curriculum and the way adults think they should belittle a 5 year old.