3- Coffee Shops.

I think I'll be spending a lot of time in coffee shops the next 28 or so days. Not that I'm complaining, I love coffee shops. There's a lot to love about them:


1. The Art- I love it because most of the time I think it's just hideous, and I'm not sure who decided this artist should be on the wall. The other day I was sitting enjoying my biscotti and cappuccino when I look up only to see these horrifyingly awkward cat faces strew with paint and pictures of birds and cages staring back at me. Someone literally cut out pictures of cats, glued them to a canvas, threw paint on it and called it art. THEN someone let them hang it up in their coffee shop. Anyway, I switched chairs so my back was to it.

2. The Work Ethic- I used to hit up coffee shops to study a lot, and now I go to write. There's no dogs to play with, TV to watch, or bed to fall asleep in so productivity is heightened. Although, most of the time I think people just like to look really busy, it's like a competition to see who can look the most swamped, has the most books etc. I think most people are just on internet dating sites.

3. The Conversations- In Texas I loved to listen to the RIDICULOUS bible studies that would go on. Now, I'm going to be a judgmentpants here, but telling someone you knew your wife was the one because he gave you the desire to procreate with her... is dumb. You had a boner for her and things ended up going well, call it what it is. Whenever these would go on, I would pretend I was jamming out to my headphones but really they were off. I love to eves drop. Also, job interviews are fun, because you know EVERYONE is trying to listen, or at least I am. The interviewee always looks so nervous, it's fun.

4. The People- Coffee shops aren't like being at a Sports bar, gay bar or any other type of place where people congregate. People go there alone, in pairs whatever but you can't ever predict the crowd. There's always some crazy mofo doin' their own thing. Like the guy next to me, currently has the hairiest hands I have ever seen. I want to vomit, and tell him to stop masturbating (isn't that what happens?).

5. The Smell- I just love the smell of coffee. I'm convinced when God made mornings he made coffee as well and said 'here my children, the smell alone is your reward for getting out of bed.' Of course he said it in French because it's the language of love, and he was lovin' on us. When we're bad, he talks in German, that day he gave us the hangover.