August 4, 2010

I've Got a Pair of Ninjas.

“My boobs are like ninjas!” is what I blurted out to my friends one night. They laughed and looked at me like I might have had one too many $1 beers. But let me explain myself.

Here’s my boob philosophy: See, boobs like ninjas, deserve to be treated with respect. Much like a ninja, boobs are around constantly; I know I personally never leave home without them. That doesn’t mean everyone needs to be utterly aware of them. I like to keep mine on the DL. Ninjas would be totally useless if they were obvious and adorned with glitter and lace. Killing machines need to be quietly lurking waiting to launch their next attack. Boobs are much like highly skilled killing machines. They should remain covered and covert, quietly waiting to launch their attack on their unsuspecting prey. Ladies, you loose a lot of effectiveness when you give the whole show right away. It would be like a ninja giving his victim pre-warning, he of course still makes his kill it just takes a little more work.
I’m sure ninjas do make their ninja skills known at opportune moments. Like when a boy shows up to take a little sister out to dinner, you bet those ninja moves are made pretty obvious. Sometimes girls know what they want and we have to use our secret weapons to get it. I find this is much more affective when they haven’t been well advertised to everyone. Catch boys off guard and knock them to their knees. Treat your chest like a secret weapon, and they’ll take you far.

And, lastly much like ninjas, boobs look damn good in a little black.

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