Old Man

I have decided to theme the month of September, mainly because I have lots of stories about the subject I've chosen and I think you'll be most delighted...

Story time:

Once upon a time I headed downtown to a bar with some friends. A few hours in and after trying desperately to have fun, I realized fully that I hated this bar and headed home. Being the cheap girl that I am, I always choose public transportation over a cab. Waiting for the train, I notice this odd older gentlemen also waiting. And, like it usually goes, he decides to make conversation with me. Apparently I have one of those faces that say "howdy stranger, come over and talk to me!"


Anyway, this man worked security at one of the other train stops or something. His opening line was something about how pretty my hair was. Duh. The conversation progresses with me trying to avoid eye contact and slowly move away, while muttering one syllable words, or mostly just grunting. It turns out his wife had died some years before (way to pull the sympathy card) and he's been lonely all alone in his apartment. Although, she was sometimes a huge bitch, so he's mostly OK with it.

Here is the highlight of our conversation. He asks me how often I frequent that train station and hints that he'd really like to run into me there again sometime. We'll see if that happens, guess we'll have to leave that up to fate, I tell him. Then he goes in for the kill. "I have a big TV at my house, I would really like to take you home, we could watch TV and see if things get romantic." Please remember this is a 68 year old man asking me this. It would be hilarious no matter who it was, but this old man trying to lure me into his pants with television was just too excellent. I stifled my laugh, and kindly told him that I had my own television at home that I could watch, and I thought he was a little too old for me (because I had told him I was 18 to see if it would make him stop talking to me). The train arrived, and I was sure to get in a different car, so that our conversation could end.

I really hope Ed, Bob, or Gus whatever his name was, found a romantic television watcher to take home with him, who was over the age of 40 much less 18.