It's my last night in Chicago. I've seen many people and have had way more social outlets than I usually do. The past few days have helped me figure out how I've been feeling the past year. The best word I can come up with is disposable.
And you know what? It feels like shit. I know that I'm not disposable to everyone that I know here but I feel important to very few. I've felt very replaceable. Anyone else can do my job, just as well if not better. I have put more stock in some friendships than was reciprocated. Maybe I needed to put more effort into my friendships or been more patient.
Hopefully in Phoenix I can find a place in myself where I no longer allow myself or anyone else to make me feel that way, and take that to the next chapters of my life.
That being said, I do have some wonderful friends in Chicago whom I will miss dearly and mean a lot to me. I will miss Chicago, and everyone I know in it.
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