9- Girls

Just realized I forgot to hit 'post' last night, so I guess you'll get two today.


I've always liked clothes and hair and makeup and whatnot. I think we all had those friends who informed us that we did that because that's how the men want us to be, and it's unnatural and we don't have to be like that to get a man. Well, no shit. You think any man knows what the spring colors are this year? Think floral colors. No men do not know that, and if they do they sure as hell ain't chasing after my little body, I'm lacking some key parts for them.

Us women of course get all glamed out and try to look fabulous to out-fabulous each other. It's scientific proven fact that the prettiest girl at the party is always the most hated. I get it when girls cry about how hard their life is because they're just sooooo pretty and soooo awesome. Other girls claws automatically come out around her because they know that they well never get a second glance as long as they stand next to her. But hey lady, you could bring the pretty down a little bit if it's ruining your life.

So, I guess we should all just find friends uglier than us so that we shine like bright stars in the midst of red dwarfs (those are really dull stars). Or, like cake in the midst of non-fat yogurt, clearly the man will go for the chocolate cake. So go out and get some non-fat yogurt friends ladies. They may be pale, boring and lacking any personality but at least you'll look like a g-damn rockstar. Without much effort. Let's be honest we all just want to be the prettiest, most hated (I wrote that hatest, and couldn't figure out the right word for way too long) girl at the party.

Just remember haters gonna hate.